just so someone else doesn't make the same mistake i did, the RR stainless steel upper arm pins are NOT compatible with the upper arms. this is mentioned in the RR shop listing but i didn't buy from RR so missed that little nugget of truth.
anyhow, cristian mentioned i could sand the pins down with some fine grit paper and polish them up to fit and after about 20 minutes of sanding and polishing, they fit like a charm. thanks for the advice